I have decided to start a blog... mainly for my own sanity, but also in the hope that it helps others. My husband and I are fairly typical 30-something-year-olds. He is 36 and I am 32. We have a 12-year-old daughter, 2 dogs, and 16 chickens.
We met when I was 16 years old and he was 20 and that one day changed my life forever. I have been in love with him since we first said "hello". I know everyone says they're married to their best friend, but after 5 & 1/2 years of dating/engagement, 1 baby, and 10 years of marriage later, I can honestly say it's true for us. Feelings this strong surprise me every day... as I don't actually like getting close to many people. I prefer hanging out with dogs to hanging out with people and silence or music to parties and conversation.
Last Friday, 8/31/2018, changed my world... again. My husband suffered a TIA and stroke, landing him in the hospital for a few days. I praise Jesus every single second that he suffered next to no lasting effects of the stroke (at least none that are debilitating). I cannot, however, say the same for myself. After learning to and performing at-home hemodialysis on him in 2009 for just over 1 year, to the miraculous Kidney Transplant in 2010, I'm beginning to think I may have some form of paranoia or PTSD. I literally cannot stop crying. Every few hours I burst out in tears. I'm so afraid of losing him.
This blog is going to be the story of us... the good, the scary, the happy, the sad, the elated, and the majestic. It's also a place where I will come to publish my fear to try to work through it.
